im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
