Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
