so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
