you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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