you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
as a side note pls kill me
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
