The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
