I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
the room spins SO much faster in panama
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
