Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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