she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
