So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
