just come out here and I will go home with you...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
