i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
