it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
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