Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
