So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
