You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
