hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
