i jhust puked up my retainher.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
