First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
