If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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