fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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