return my video game
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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