uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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