You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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