I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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