Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
