You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
