I'm sorry my penis didn't work
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
