you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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