i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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