i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
