i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so explain again why im purple
no
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
