YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
