States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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