How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
