She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
