I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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