the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
