this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
