i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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