Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
