but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
