wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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