I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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