She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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