too bad you live with your parents still
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
