well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you traded sex for a burrito?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
