Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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