All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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