My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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