so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
