You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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