i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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