Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Sorry about my life...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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